Episode 311 – Unstoppable Lifestyle Empowerment Alchemist with Rhonda Farrah

Posted February 18, 2025

Most people would say that Rhonda Farrah has had a difficult and, at times, scary life. As you will hear, Rhonda had a pretty conservative upbringing. She will tell us that she was in fact surrounded by love from her family and even her extended family of aunts and uncles and grandparents who all lived under the same roof. Rhonda was the oldest of her siblings and many looked to her for strength and knowledge.

Rhonda went to college first majoring in Horticulture, but switched to Psychology. As she says, she likes to help things grow and while she loves gardening, she preferred to help people grow and development.

Rhonda, as part of her so-called difficult life spent six years in prison and while there discovered that she had a lump on her breast. She didn’t address the lump until she was released from prison. She used a combination of Western and Eastern medicine to complete eliminate the tumor without surgery. Also, fairly soon after leaving prison the sentence and charges she faced were completely expunged. While many told her she should litigate she disagreed and turned to forgiveness instead.

Today Rhonda coaches and teaches women to grow and learn to look within themselves to better understand how to grow and move forward. Rhonda calls herself a lifestyle empowerment alchemist. As she explains, an alchemist changes materials. She helps women to change by learning to look within for answers. As she says, if we look for answers, the best place to find them is within ourselves.

Rhonda offers many wonderful and relevant pieces of knowledge we all can learn to use. I think you will enjoy her story, her progress and her inspirational and unstoppable attitude very much.

About the Guest:

Rhonda M. Farrah, MA, DRWA, a LIFEstyle Empowerment Alchemist, Coach and prominent figure in personal development, has dedicated her years of insights as a psychotherapist to be a guiding light for women facing unique challenges, helping them embark on a transformative journey of Selfdiscovery and Empowerment.

In a world where external issues often command our attention, Rhonda Farrah stands out as a catalyst for inner growth with her mantra, “Fix Your Reflection First.” A beacon of hope for women who find themselves trapped in the throes of personal turmoil, be it in relationships, careers, or daily life.

Through her extensive career and profound dedication, Rhonda Farrah has spearheaded the Fix Your Reflection First method of realizing that both the joys and the setbacks in your life can serve you IF you can look past your immediate emotional response and use your Self-awareness to grow instead of pushing yourself down. Farrah’s holistic approach centers on Self-reflection and the restoration of Self-love as the cornerstone of personal growth and Change.

As a seasoned author, Empowerment Alchemist coach, speaker, entrepreneur, spiritual teacher, and educator, Rhonda has cultivated an extensive toolkit designed to assist individuals in addressing the challenges that hold them back and embracing the joys that propel them forward. Working with clients and companies from International Centers For Spiritual Living to the US Open Wellness Team, Rhonda’s teachings emphasize harnessing Self-awareness and leveraging life’s setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles.

Rhonda’s mission is to Empower women to prioritize their Self-love and Self-awareness, nurturing a profound alignment that positively influences every facet of their lives. Her work fosters a renewed sense of confidence and a hunger for personal growth, igniting a powerful journey of Self-discovery. Having written several e-books, Rhonda has participated as a Contributing Author to America’s Heroes, Leaders, Legends, The Power Of The Human Spirit, and America’s Leading Ladies Who Positively Impact Our World, featuring Oprah Winfrey and Melinda Gates.

Ways to connect with Rhonda:

Website: https://helpmerhondanow.com
Email: rhonda@helpmerhondanow.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rhonda-m-farrah-ma-drwa-81097b14
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rhonda.farrah
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/helpmerhondanow_

About the Host:

Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog.

Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children’s Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association’s 2012 Hero Dog Awards.

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https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/

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Transcription Notes:

Michael Hingson ** 00:00
Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I’m Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that’s a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we’re happy to meet you and to have you here with us.

Michael Hingson ** 01:21
Well, hello and welcome to another episode of unstoppable mindset. I am your host, Mike Hingson, our guest today is Rhonda. And Rhonda pronounce your last name Farrah, which is what I thought. But I always like to make sure I get it right. Well, Rhonda Farrah is our guest, and as you will learn from her, Rhonda is a lifestyle empowerment Alchemist, and I’m intrigued to learn more about that and all sorts of other things. She especially helps women and helps ground them, I think, to summarize a lot of what she does, and we’re going to talk about that. I know she talks and and in her bio, I read a lot about encouraging people to really think and center themselves. And that’s something that we talk a lot about on various episodes of this podcast, and it’s something that I talk about in the new book that is published in August of 2024 called Live like a guide dog, where I talk about and encourage people to be much more self analytical and look at themselves and take the time to do it, because it will create a lot less fear in their lives if they discover that they don’t need to be afraid of so many things, but that’s not something we’re going to worry about as much today, unless Rhonda wants to talk about it, but we’ll get there anyway. Rhonda, welcome to unstoppable mindset. We’re really glad you’re here.

Rhonda Farrah ** 02:50
Thank you so much, Michael, thank you for inviting me to be your guest. I love the name of your podcast, unstoppable mindset, because that’s, after all, where everything begins, it

Michael Hingson ** 03:02
does. Well, why don’t you start, since we talk about starting at the beginning by telling us a little bit kind of about the early Rhonda growing up and all

Rhonda Farrah ** 03:10
that stuff. Okay, yes, the early Rhonda growing up. Early Rhonda. I am originally from the East Coast. I grew up in Connecticut in a largely traditional household and family. I had a stay at home mom. I had dad who preferred mom stay at home. And I am the oldest of three brothers and one sister, and during that period of time, largely through grade three. You want to talk about my early days through grade three, I lived in an extended family, and many people know what that is. It was my parents, myself, my siblings, grandparents, at least one set at a time, aunts, uncle, one, uncle and great aunts, and it was a all under one roof, so there was a lot of love and there was a lot of discipline all at the same time. And it was a household primarily women, and my sense of nurturing and nurturing nurturance began very early with that feminine influence there. It’s not that men don’t nurture but I had an entourage of all that feminine presence around me, and also being the oldest of my siblings, I took on that while everyone’s looking to you, Rhonda, that you’re the role model so early on growing up, it was, I would have to say, We were a very conservative family, and I had conservative influences around me, and it actually paved the way for me wanting to. Not only to be in service of to others, but to go ahead and do my studies in psychology, counseling and educational psychology, and to help others be their highest and their best self. And that, that unstoppable mind, as you put it, is when we go within and we understand, how are we attending to the agenda of our soul that going within? So that’s that’s a brief that’s a capitalized version of how I grew up. I like to play girls CYO softball. I was raised Catholic, Roman Catholic, later on, rebaptized a Christian. I honor all paths to God. I consider myself spiritual. I’ve always been spiritual, whether I realized it or not, and that, you know, that helps with that going within once, one says, Once I said, Yeah, I want to, I want to experience what is going within little Rhonda. And as I grew into an adult, and I got better at it, let’s, let’s put it that way, I got better at going within.

Michael Hingson ** 06:16
Well, yeah, and I think that’s, that’s important, and I think that that development of the brain is something that more people ought to do and and don’t do nearly as much as as they should live like a guide dog. Is all about learning to control fear, because when I was in the World Trade Center and we had the emergency that we did on September 11, although I had plenty of fear, fear did not overwhelm or, as I put it, blind me. I used it as a powerful tool to help me focus. And the reason all that happened as I really figured out many, many years later and then started to write about it in the era of the pandemic was that I developed a mindset. I knew what to do because I researched what to do. It wasn’t a matter of reading signs. Oh, I can read these signs that’ll tell me what to do. That works until it doesn’t, and it’s not nearly the same as knowledge. And so I learned what to do. I talked to the Port Authority, police, the fire department, emergency preparedness people, and learned everything that I could about what was, what was occurring, or what what could occur in an emergency, and what to do in an emergency. And did it enough that it became a mindset for me, so that when it actually happened, although we never thought that it would, when it did, I was able to function because I had conducted a lot of self analysis and thought about, what do I do in this kind of situation? Realized I know what to do. Yeah, it’s always possible the building could have just come down around us, and then where would we be? Well, we wouldn’t be here talking about it, probably anyway, but knowing what to do was the issue, and we we, selectively or collectively as a society, tend not to do that. We think we can just read signs or Well, if it happens, it happens. But we don’t think about that. But we think about so many other things. My gosh, what? What if one politician gets elected? What if another politician gets elected? What if any number of things happen? What if I go to the store and I get robbed and all sorts of things that we don’t have any real control over, and we create so much fear because we don’t just focus on the things that we can control and leave the rest alone. And I think that that is probably something that leans right into a lot of the things that you talk about,

Rhonda Farrah ** 08:53
yes, and that’s you make an excellent point, because there’s a point where we need to depend on what’s going on within us. We can’t depend on the government. We can’t depend on the economy. We can’t depend on the health care system, the pharmaceutical system. We need to listen to our intuitive self, to our authentic self from within and sure, I’ve been scared, sure, but with with stuff that happened within my all my own life. However, I wasn’t paralyzed by fear. I didn’t react. I responded, and that’s really important for people to consider. We have so many questions, and especially now in these times, we’re in chaotic we’re in uncertain times. We’re in a mess, basically, but the mess is here for us to learn, to grow and to move forward with that power from within, as I call it, our authentic power from. Then, and we, we all have, it’s the power to thrive and not merely survive.

Michael Hingson ** 10:06
Yeah, and we all have the power to work together and to create harmony, if we would, but do it right

Rhonda Farrah ** 10:15
if we choose to. Yeah, it is a choice.

Michael Hingson ** 10:18
But make no mistake, it is a choice, and we can do it if we if we wanted to, and it would be so much more amazing how well people would get along on how much more we would accomplish if we did that.

Rhonda Farrah ** 10:32
That’s absolutely correct. Michael, we are oftentimes we get caught up in what is different within us. You know, what are our differences? How about, let’s talk about, how are we so similar, right? And that’s where the strength comes in. That’s where the power of numbers come in with that strength, with that power.

Michael Hingson ** 10:56
Agreed. So you grew up? Did you go to college?

Rhonda Farrah ** 11:01
I did. I attended the University of Connecticut under graduate school. And ironically, I didn’t start out in psychology. I started out in horticulture, and was two years it’s an agricultural college, actually the University of Connecticut. It was at that time. Now it’s in the top 25 in the United States. And I enjoyed school. I enjoyed college immensely, and I always I switched to psychology. And let me tell you why. When I was a kid, I used to watch this show. It was The Bob Newhart Show, and he was a psychologist in this particular part in

Michael Hingson ** 11:52
that show, right?

Rhonda Farrah ** 11:54
And and for you know, unfortunately, several days ago, he made his transition. But when I heard that, I said, wow, look at how long ago. I mean, I admired him. I admired what he did. And I said, No, that’s that’s what I want to do. So I started out in horticulture, growing, okay, so I just switched to help people grow within themselves, and I am an avid gardener, by the way, and I like all those things with respect to preparing the soil, with respect to pruning, with respect to weeding so that you can grow healthy plants. And I’m a big advocate in growing where we are planted. We always have something to learn, if it regardless of situation, circumstance or happenstance. There’s always something to learn wherever we’re being planted or plant. There are no accidents, in my opinion, no coincidence, no happenstance. And we call everything forward into our lives to do just that, to grow when we are we are planted to experience joy, to experience sorrow,

Michael Hingson ** 13:05
and a lot of times when we experience sorrow, if we would really stop and think about it, we might find it’s not as bad as we think too, right? But that happens, and that’s again, it’s a growth era and a growth thing to deal with. Yes,

Rhonda Farrah ** 13:20
yeah, absolutely. And you know that paved the way in psychology for me to become what I call a lifestyle, empowerment Alchemist, a coach, author and a speaker and alchemy, believe me, I am no left brain person. I alchemy is the precursor to chemistry. I never took chemistry. I opted for, I think it was environmental science. I was safe when there was a science requirement. I was good with that. But alchemy is indeed the precursor to chemistry, and it’s the transmutation of one substance into another. So I learned by my own situations and circumstances. I have plenty of credentials, but my biggest credentials are that I came out on the good side, I’ll say, On the positive side, on the Empowered side of some not so good situations and circumstances in my life. So that’s why I refer to myself as an alchemist, and I am dedicated to awakening those who choose to be awakened, to opening their hearts, their minds, and most especially, their spirit within them, so that they can live their best life ever.

Michael Hingson ** 14:36
So in in your case, you you you do change things, what? What were some of the the maybe negative things that you had to work through that caused you to decide that you were truly an empowerment Alchemist, a lifestyle empowerment Alchemist, nothing

Rhonda Farrah ** 14:53
is negative unless, unless you think,

Michael Hingson ** 14:57
what challenges? Yes, the challenge. Challenges,

Rhonda Farrah ** 15:00
the struggles, the the adversity. Okay, six years in a woman’s federal prison camp, breast cancer, several divorces, financial ruin was thrown in there, and it was like, wow, this is the not so good stuff that’s happening, and it took me a while to understand. I called all this forward. I called all this forward for all the reasons why, whether it was poor choices, especially in the case of prison camp, called it forward to learn lessons and to to actually be in a major time out, because it began there that I began to realize my biggest struggle and challenge was I didn’t know myself. I’d lost my sense of self. It I was in there somewhere, but I had lost my sense of self, and I needed to be literally extricated, separated from all that was familiar to me, so I could do something about that.

Michael Hingson ** 16:08
Yeah, how long ago was that that you were in the prison camp? No,

Rhonda Farrah ** 16:12
would have been. Actually, I was there when 911 hit. Okay, oh yeah, it’s been a while, and I began that prison term of being of service to others, as well as myself, service set loosely in 20 in 2002 1000 in 2000 in 2000 and when 911 hit, I wasn’t in a place where it was, you know, bars and razor wire or any of that. But when 911 hit, most I know my family and other people that I knew were saying she’s probably in the safest place she can be. Yeah. And I said, Wow, this is actually happening. And I remember that happening. I remember I was actually part of a work cadre. I was teaching wellness classes as well to my fellow inmates, 300 women, and that came a little later, but it was part of a work cadre that went to the Presidio five days a week, five of us, five women, and we did Gardening. We did organization within, let’s say, the warden’s house that was up there on the Presidio. So I was part of the those that were trusted enough to be out five days a week. I mean, we had to go back, but so I experienced a lot. That was a gift and that was a blessing, and that is what got me through that instance. Just as other instances, I found the gift, I found the blessing in particularly like where I was at all times. But I did find gifts and blessings. I’m an avid runner. I had a track to run on. I a strength trainer. I had what was called a weight pile up there with antiquated equipment and everything else. But yet it was, it was mine. It was available to me. And so the gifts and the blessings come in in sometimes unlikely places, if you are open and receptive to them. And it wasn’t about until a year after being incarcerated that I stopped banging the phone against the wall saying, Get me out of here. I had an aha moment. It was that period where I surrendered that I really began to peel away the onion skin that was keeping my sense of self, my true sense of self, self with a capital S at bay.

Michael Hingson ** 19:13
So you, as you said, started peeling back the onion and went on clearly, what was a journey of self discovery, and you began to realize, and I put it in quotes, I made these choices, and I’m the one that can fix it in the long run, in

Rhonda Farrah ** 19:39
the long run, right? But in the short run, I was learning more about myself than I ever imagined. Yeah, because I was separated from all those things that were my comfort zone, I was definitely out of my comfort zone, which is where our life really begins. When you’re out of your comfort zone.

Michael Hingson ** 20:02
Yeah, and in so many ways and and, of course, that’s the whole point that we get so comfortable on our comfort zone that we never really do look beyond it. And that’s a problem, because life is all about so many things that we choose not to explore that would be so beneficial if we did? Yes,

Rhonda Farrah ** 20:26
absolutely, and I was pivoted right back into being of service to others.

Michael Hingson ** 20:35
Okay, by

Rhonda Farrah ** 20:36
teaching wellness classes and by you know there was a camaraderie. It was like women would say, Well, what about what should I do in this situation? What I said, I think you should take this time, because you have this time, literally time to explore from within, you can a lot of women that want to lose weight, they want to have better body image and otherwise. And those wellness classes were not just physical wellness classes I was teaching. It was emotional well, because that’s how you get to the physical if you’re working from the inside out, going within, then you’re gonna have better results well being, rather than Ill being. And I would often say, you know, well, they would say, Well, when I get home, I’ll get on a program and

Michael Hingson ** 21:36
lose weight, and yeah, when I,

Rhonda Farrah ** 21:39
when I said, Well, let me tell you what, when you go home, you’re going to have to pay your rent, take care of your kids, have a job, and do everything else that you do in the real world without being institutionalized. So I said, there is a gift for being here. It’s sad a lot of the times, because we all missed our families, but there is a gift and a blessing if we choose to know that so many women took me up on that some did not, and that’s was their right. It’s not my right, nor obligation, to want for someone what they do not want for themselves, not at all.

Michael Hingson ** 22:25
We are our own best teachers, and no one else can can do that for us,

Rhonda Farrah ** 22:30
right? That’s exactly right, Michael, and it’s it was an interesting time in my life. I actually so I was in my very early 40s, and I just turned 66 last last month, and I I never imagined that my midlife crisis, that was act one of my midlife crisis to be incarcerated to be and actually incarcerated to be liberated. I had more freedom getting to know myself and my true sense of self than I ever had at that point again, it wasn’t all roses, it was pain, sorrow, emotional, largely, but I went through it. I felt, you’ve heard the the phrase, um, feel the fear, feel the pain, and do it anyway. Yeah, because it’s subside. It’s actually empowering to know that we have that power to feel pain, to feel sorrow, yet it will move us forward, or propel us forward. So

Michael Hingson ** 23:49
was that time in prison for you? Kind of the the end of Act One, and then the transition to act two.

Speaker 1 ** 23:57
Well, that was act one of my midlife crisis. Oh, you’re master of your midlife crisis. That’s my midlife crisis.

Rhonda Farrah ** 24:03
That that was that. But it was so surreal to me. I’ve never had a parking ticket or speeding violation, and it was like, What is this? So? Hard lessons, hard lessons when you do not trust your intuition. When you make poor choices, when you try to please people, just remember you, you will not come out on the best side of things, but you must go where you need to go to learn what you need to learn. Yeah, kind of like a college. It’s an extra. Was an extra grad school,

Michael Hingson ** 24:45
well, and you said something very interesting, because, in reality, if you trust your intuition and you really work and develop that it will help you avoid things that otherwise you might not be able to avoid. But we. Don’t tend to do that. And my favorite example of that is the game Trivial Pursuit. How often do you play that game and someone asked the question, and you think, I know the answer, and then you go, No, that can’t be the right answer. And it turns out it was the right answer, and you should have answered with it. But, you know, it happens so often in so many ways, with so many things, yes.

Rhonda Farrah ** 25:19
So I mean, I took the best of a not so good situation and it was all right. It served me. It served me to empower me so that I could have that like in my that was a notch in my belt, to let people understand, that I could understand what they’re going through because I was there.

Michael Hingson ** 25:47
So what happened when that time was over?

Rhonda Farrah ** 25:51
So I was teaching wellness classes there, and I was supposed to be released in April of 2005 and it got delayed until, I believe it was July of that year. And for 11 months I knew I had a lump on my breast, and I did nothing about it, but go within, meditation, prayer. I was not going to subject myself to the Bureau of Prisons, medical, and I took a risk, sure, but I went within and the intuition said, Okay, you’re going to be all right. I call it my godling self, not my mere, earthling self. I didn’t run around in this chaotic, chaotic tone and in every area of my life and say, Oh, my God, I got I got to do something about this. And no, I knew, but I knew what I had to do. I had to go within and reinforce that my authentic power would help me get through this? So that act two of midlife crisis is now entering in and I came home. I was living on the Monterey Peninsula, and we had to go to a halfway house for a month or so when they understood I had a lump on my breast, because I told them they couldn’t wait to get rid of me from the halfway house. So I went home and I went to my gynecologist. He ordered a biopsy immediately, and in none other than breast cancer awareness month, October, I was diagnosed with nearly stage three breast cancer. And I’m a believer that what happens to us really happens for us. And that’s that period incarceration strengthened me to get through this. And I was scared, but I was not in fear mode. I was not immobilized. And of course, biopsy comes back, and everyone’s saying, what happened? What was it? And I, my response has always been, well, it’s not the best news, but it’s not the worst news, right either. And from that point, I met with my friends, would say, we’re going to get you another breast. And I go, No, I don’t want another breast. I like this one, and I have a nice little war scar right here, and I’m good. I’m good with that. No one has ever complained. So I’m good with all of it, because I’m good with it myself. And I got this feeling that had the best breast dye they called him in the United States, Dr Jeffrey Hyde, and he I was scared because I told my god, I heard about chemotherapy, surgery, radiation. And he said something to me that surprised me from within the Rhonda inside. He said, this can be chemically treated. And I said, What? And I was happy that it could be chemically treated. Okay, so I mean that meant chemotherapy. I was happy, but I was like, How could this be? I’m an athlete. I take care of myself. I don’t have any negative vices or anything. And now this is happening and the incidents, so here I am the nurturer. Okay? I nourish others now. I help them be their highest and best self by taking the. The adversity as well as the joys, and making it work for them, if they choose that finding the gift of the blessing. So here I am the nurturer now realizing that incidence of breast cancer in women is due to the fact that women do not nourish or nurture themselves. They’re good with everyone else. Okay, they’re good, but nourishing others. I wasn’t nourishing myself. Couple that with and that had started well before prison. I was a people pleaser. I was a doormat at times, and I just went about my life. And that was that, until I got a major time out in prison camp, and then I got hit with the breast cancer thing, and I decided, well, oh, there’s my aha breath. That’s my god breath. I decided, well, I’m gonna, I’m going to do this with Eastern medicine. I began the practice of medical Qigong, and I put off going to chemotherapy, and my daughter looked at me as if I was nuts, and she says, I don’t know when we’re going to get a break. And I go, it’s going to be okay. Everything’s going to be great. Don’t worry, I’m not going to die, because who will be here to run your life? Tell you to brush your teeth and all of that in between. And I mean, I was interjecting some of you into a very serious thing, and that day, I made a promise to myself and to my daughter, I am not only going to live, I’m going to dance at your wedding, and I’m going to see my grandchildren and all that happened. There you go. That happened. I’ve been cancer free for about 17 or 18 years now, but my point of telling you that is that the medical Qigong professional heat said, go back and get to your oncologist and get an ultrasound, because Western medicine has the best diagnostic tools. I went back to her, my daughter was with me, and she said to me, I don’t know what you’re doing, but you’re shrinking your tumor. And I felt good about that. And then my daughter’s head spun around on her neck, and she looked at the oncologist as well as me, and said, Are you buying this shit like that? And I knew then that was another fear of mine. There were enter that fear of surgery, chemotherapy and all of that in between. I knew then, no, you got to go through you go, you’ll use Western and Eastern medicine. And I never looked back. I had chemo. They cleaned up the margins a little bit on one of my breasts, and I had 40 blasts of radiation. So I got over that fear. I mean, that’s, I’m not a doctor person. I don’t I don’t like to go to doctors, so I needed to call that forward so that I could understand that I had that power from within me to face even that fear. But once again, I was pivoted right back into being of service to others and doing support groups with women with breast cancer. Cancer.

Michael Hingson ** 33:44
So when did you become cancer free?

Rhonda Farrah ** 33:49
It was the end of March, 2006 Okay, and so what claimed cancer free? What?

Michael Hingson ** 33:56
What did you do? How did Eastern medicine help with that. What? What was involved with the Eastern medicine aspect of it?

Rhonda Farrah ** 34:03
Well, even though I started the chemotherapy, I had very few side effects from chemotherapy, because I continued with the medical dig on. I continued with acupuncture and prayer chanting, so I had side effects. I’m a runner. I was, I wasn’t running as quickly, but I was, I was moving along with my dog four days, sometimes five out of the week, and I went. I was very diligent on Thursdays at 11 o’clock. That was my chemotherapy. So I come I combined them, but I was glad I combined them, and I was glad I faced that fear of, Oh, my goodness,

Rhonda Farrah ** 34:52
I need to do this stuff that I don’t like to do. Do. So I could have become a victim and said, Oh, poor me,

Rhonda Farrah ** 35:04
we would probably not be having this conversation right now, because it’s a little over 35% of women with breast cancer. Yeah, never

Michael Hingson ** 35:12
fake it. Well, yeah, go ahead.

Rhonda Farrah ** 35:15
I didn’t choose that. I chose. I chose my own healing once again, and whether I knew it or not, by helping others heal emotionally, most especially, I was healing, and I was becoming more empowered. And I just took this next scary piece of life, adventure of midlife crisis, and I made it work for me, rather than anything less.

Michael Hingson ** 35:46
But that’s really the whole point of stepping back and doing introspection in your own life and thinking about it and listening to what you have to tell yourself, because that’s where the real solutions come from in most anything that we do, if we but listen. And you know, we don’t tend to listen to that inner voice nearly as much as we can or should, and we lead ourselves astray.

Rhonda Farrah ** 36:21
I so agree with that. Michael, you know, we, we have so many questions within understand that the answers are within us. Yeah, that’s it, and it is an inside job to live the powered life, to live the life that you want to live. Perhaps the life that you dream about, it comes from here, that comes from the heart, space, the heart, the emotions. And I believe there’s only two emotions, fear and love, right? Whatever emotion you’re in creates your thoughts, and your thoughts create your external world,

Michael Hingson ** 36:59
and you have some control over how all that really shakes out in the end, we all

Rhonda Farrah ** 37:05
do. We’re all our own Guru. That’s it. If we only knew that we we all have a godly self, not merely an earthling self.

Michael Hingson ** 37:17
Well, I think, in reality, they’re they’re one in the same in various ways, but I hear what you’re saying

Rhonda Farrah ** 37:23
the and whether you call it, I happen to call it God, because my upbringing it universe, source, spirit, the divine.

Michael Hingson ** 37:31
Well, God’s a very powerful word. I have no problem using that. Yeah,

Rhonda Farrah ** 37:35
black people are afraid of the God word. I like the God word. Yeah, definitely. Every time, there it is again, the AHA breath, that’s my god breath. It’s a confirming breath. So we just confirmed that it’s great to say the God word, and

Michael Hingson ** 37:51
it has nothing to do with any specific religion.

Rhonda Farrah ** 37:54
No, it does not.

Michael Hingson ** 37:58
So what happened after Act Two in your midlife crisis, world,

Rhonda Farrah ** 38:10
I was asked in an interview, and I’ll get to act three. Adventure number three, I was once asked in an interview, what was the worst date you’ve been on? So I was videoed, and the long and short of it was, I said, Oh, I thinking about it. I don’t date and meet somebody. We get to know one another. They asked me to marry them, and the rest is history. Enter two divorces. You know, pretty close together, five, six years apart, very short lived divorces. And I’ll tell you what prison prepared me for, breast cancer, and prison and breast cancer together prepared me for a lot of people don’t think prison or breast cancer would be worse than divorce. It wasn’t the divorce, it was the betrayal. It was the trusting of someone and then, like being sideswiped, that was it. Sideswiped and lots of tears. I always say, wherever I was, tears and laughter are signs of growth. If one is not laughing or crying weeping, then you’re not growing. And growth is essential if you’re going to be your highest, best self, if you’re going to be an empowered, your empowered self. So the first one was ugly, the second one was ugly, and but I, I, I know I have a formula for living in empower. Life, and boy, did I use it my formula, because, after all, I am an alchemist, is gratitude plus forgiveness equals living the life that you want to live. So I was, first of all, I was grateful for meeting these people, because they taught me again about myself. I was settling, no disrespect to whomever I was married to, but I was settling because, well, I don’t want to be alone, and maybe no one will also come and blah, blah, blah. I mean, I went through these gyrations. I’m no stranger to feeling that way, and I’m very vulnerable. I think you know that by now, and I’m good, you can hold me up to the light, and I’m transparent because I’m okay, whereas I wasn’t to begin with, and that’s about two years ago. My brand changed to fix your reflection first and live your best life ever, because that’s why we’re not living our best life ever. It’s not that everything must go right for us, it’s that we can find the gift and the blessing when nothing is going right. My whole life fell apart only so it all together in better ways. So I went from that people pleaser door map to under to thanking those who I was pleasing and had used me as a doormat. Thank you. I got it now. Okay, I got it so when I look in the mirror now, I see the love of my life. Because unless we are able to understand who we are and our magnificence, we will attract much less. Again, no disrespect to any situation, circumstance or event, to any person that I have been with so and the other thing is, if you treat yourself like the love of your life,

42:11
you will attract the love of your life,

Rhonda Farrah ** 42:14
not only in a romantic situation, in every freaking area of your life, you will attract the best of the best,

Michael Hingson ** 42:24
and I gather you’ve done that.

Rhonda Farrah ** 42:26
Oh, I’m open to love, but I’m not, I’m not with any I’m single and but I’m not, like, not in any dating sites or anything like that, right? I’m I’m working with myself,

Michael Hingson ** 42:40
yeah, well, that’s what I’m getting at and yeah, that’s

Rhonda Farrah ** 42:44
who I’m with. I’m with myself. Because wherever we go, we take ourselves with us, and

Michael Hingson ** 42:48
somebody might come along at some point that you develop a relationship with, but you’re going to look at it differently now than you have in the past. Absolutely, absolutely, which is so cool.

Rhonda Farrah ** 43:06
It’s what needs to happen. If it happened to me, then I have the right to say, well, it could happen to you too,

Michael Hingson ** 43:15
and it’s not an ego issue. To say you’re the love of your life. That’s That’s not it at all, and and it’s important, I think, that people understand that it is that you’re you’re happy with yourself, you respect yourself. Now, my life was different than yours. My wife and I got married in 1982 and she passed two years ago, almost two years ago. So we were married 40 years and lots of wonderful memories, and I don’t know what will happen in the future, although I’m not looking for any anything like the romantic kind of thing to happen, although some people told me I’m crazy and I should, but my response is, you know, Karen is monitoring from somewhere, and if I misbehave, I’m going to hear about it. So I got to be a good kid. That’s

Rhonda Farrah ** 44:05
it. And it works. And it works because it works for you, and this works differently for everyone, exactly, right. It works differently for everyone, but, and I have to say, and sometimes an audience will go up one side of me and down the other when I say, you know, selfishness is the most selfless thing we can do, right? I think, especially as a woman.

Michael Hingson ** 44:33
Well, yeah, I would say everyone, but I hear what you’re saying, but I hear what you’re saying. Well, so what do you do today, what, what is your, your your job, or whatever, or what do you what do you do with your life today?

Rhonda Farrah ** 44:49
With my life today, I I have dual duties after divorces. I was heading back to Connecticut. I. All my family’s in Connecticut, two grandchildren. And not that I don’t love the rest of my family, but, you know, grandkids, yeah, okay, I could do this, and ages 10 and eight, and a friend of mine, that’s why I’m in Colorado Springs. Asked me to I’ve known her for 12 years. I know her through someone else that no longer speaks to me, okay, but that’s that’s how it happens. That’s how people come together to learn lessons and otherwise. And she said to me, I need you to make a pit stop. Here I go, Oh, I kind of knew what was going on. Her mother in law has dementia, and she’s totally ambulatory, and she’s we high functioning. But as I’m in there somewhere, wherever I was, she’s in there somewhere. So I came, I met the woman, and my friend said, Can you give us a year? A year? You want me stay here for a year, grow where you’re planted? This is my point of telling you this, and this is why I do what I do. I have another growing where I’m planted. So she said, Can you give us a year? I said, What? It’ll be three years, the beginning of October. I’m feeling that this woman and I will make our exit together, because I’m feeling I’m supposed to be here on one direction or dimension. Now I I still do plenty of interviews. I have my own radio television show on transformation network, which I’m inviting you to be on, and you’ll hear from me on that. Let me know. Oh, yeah, and I’m catering to several clients. You know, everything is zoom these days, which fine. That’s fine with me. So that’s what I do. I’m in the process of, right? I’ve written three ebooks, a contributing author to three books, and I’m writing a book from PTA to prison, my journey in transformation. Now that was just a part of it, but that was the beginning, right? My journey and transformation. We’re never too old for transformation. No, I would often joke and say, you know, Moses, he was transformed. He didn’t didn’t think he could do anything major. That was his mistake. And he did the greatest thing in his late 70s, yeah, the greatest thing for him. And the interesting part is I do mirror work is nothing new. And I go to the mirror every morning and at night sometimes as well, and lots of things developed after I changed my brand to fix your reflection first and live your best life ever. I went, I call it. I came out of the closet with prison and other personal aspects of my life. It’s the best thing I ever did, be vulnerable in front of audiences and show them that I’m not immune to anything either. Just because I live and breathe this, which I do and I like it, I’m not stuff still happens to me, happens for me that not so good stuff, but so what I’m doing now is I’m continuing to transmute myself so that I can be A better service to others. That’s literally what I’m doing.

Michael Hingson ** 49:05
One of the things that I love to say, and it fits right in with what you’re discussing, is when I have the honor of doing these podcast episodes, if I’m not learning as much as, or more than anyone listening or whoever to the podcast that I’m not doing my job. And I think that that’s an absolute part of it. We we all need to learn and transform. And I look for the opportunities that come along where people may say something like you’ve said a number of things that make perfect sense. I’m not sure I’ve heard today too many brand new things, but the reality is, there aren’t that many. There really aren’t new things in the world. It’s just that either we haven’t heard them yet, but they’re still there, or we. We’ve forgotten them, and we need to remember them, or we have heard them, and we do remember them, and it reinforces it. But the fact is, there really isn’t anything new in the world. We just have to sometimes rediscover it for ourselves. Exactly

Rhonda Farrah ** 50:14
it’s it’s the amount of reading I did in prison camp, and if I make notes on the in the sidelines of the pages, and then I go back and I read the same passages and books and everything else, and I’d read what I’ve written, and I’d say that was a learning experience. And my measure look how far I’ve come. That that’s when self help wasn’t called self help. Yeah, now we have self help, you know, yeah, Bob bought the programs and everything, and then never opened them, because, again, it’s an inside job. And I believe that with all my heart,

Michael Hingson ** 51:02
right? Yeah, and I think there’s, there’s merit to that. So you have clients in various places nowadays, yes,

Rhonda Farrah ** 51:12
Canada, Australia. I’m actually the final touches on a group coaching program. It is coaching program for women. I’ll take 15 women for 12 weeks, 12 weeks, and if they choose to continue with another 12 weeks, at the end of 412 weeks, we’ve done a year, yeah, together, and we’ve accomplished what we want to accomplish, but in bite sized pieces, right? We’re building on the first 12 weeks, so I’m very excited about that. And my clientele is, I say 45 and over, but like 5850 and over, because we all having those little crises for our benefit. What?

Michael Hingson ** 51:57
What made you decide, though, to work with people who are essentially 50 and older, as opposed to younger people, because

Rhonda Farrah ** 52:04
I kept getting older. You know, I kept getting older, and my experience has happened to me, and I call it the mid life, and there are so many people going through, maybe not exactly the same thing, but in some cases, yes, the same things. They’re going through them, and I, I want to be the light at the end of whatever tunnel they are journeying through, and let them know this is not a train coming at you. Your light is exactly that. It’s your light. It’s your guidance to move forward, and nothing less.

Michael Hingson ** 52:49
Now you you teach women, and that’s fair, but if I were to carry it forward, what about men? Not that you that you’re doing that, but don’t men also really deal with the same issues they do,

Rhonda Farrah ** 53:03
but they deal with them in different ways, and in many cases, men have it over women because of the way they’re dealing with them. Society has ingrained in men. They’re the strong, they’re the powerful, they’re the empowered. Of course, you look at the state of affairs in this world today and you find that, well, yeah,

Michael Hingson ** 53:26
and that’s, of course, that’s the problem is that it’s great to be the powerful and the empowered and so on. But if you will, you let it go to your head, and you’re not listening anymore,

Rhonda Farrah ** 53:37
right? The what I believe is that that’s That’s exactly true. If you’re not listening to your intuitive self from within, if you’re not, you’re doing a number on yourself with that whole mindset thing. Yeah, think you can, you’re right. If you think you can’t, you’re right as well. You’re right as well. So the I have just had more women approach I’ve had more women approach me. There’s a the they kind of assimilate with me and who I am, you know, I’m Mom, I’m the grandmother, and I’m the sister, you know, the oldest, and I’m in this thing, this gig, called counseling. Now, when I was a psychotherapist, my I turned to right around in 2005 couple things happened. I was released from prison. By the way, my sentence was expunged shortly after that.

Michael Hingson ** 54:46
Oh,

Rhonda Farrah ** 54:48
and so, and many people will also say, Aren’t you mad? Aren’t you angry? I go for what? For

Michael Hingson ** 54:54
what? Yeah, what good is that gonna do? I forgave

Rhonda Farrah ** 54:58
everybody. And. I came that’s was part of my program for being my best self ever.

Michael Hingson ** 55:04
What were you accused of doing? If I might ask the

Rhonda Farrah ** 55:07
money. Money, crime, non violent. Non violent. No drugs, yeah. Money, crime, okay, got it. I mean, I was no milking and all of that. But the interesting part about that is, I served my sentence in prison camp. It used to be a men’s prison camp, and Milken was there, and that’s where he contracted cancer, and he won his release in $5 million and built the Cancer Center in Los Angeles. So you see, and that’s, you know, everyone had me convinced, well, you should sue the government. I go, No, I don’t think so. It’s like, I need to move on. You know, it’s like I’m moving on, and I’m taking the best pieces of that part of my life and this part of my life and these parts of my life, we teach that they can do the same.

Michael Hingson ** 56:04
When I was in my mid 20s, something happened. I became blind because I was born two months premature and given a pure oxygen environment, and that caused the retinas not to develop properly, something known at the time as retro enteral fibroplasia. And if we really want to learn to spell it, go buy my book thunder dog. Um, now it’s called retinopathy or prematurity, and you can learn that in Thunder dog too. But anyway, um, I think it was in the mid 20s somewhere I read an article about someone who was born around the same time that I was and blind for the same reason, and they sued their medical people, and just, had just won a major lawsuit and got money and all that. And I was talking to my father about it, and I said, What do you think about that? And he he said, probably something that you can really imagine, he said, and what good would suing really do at the time? They probably had just the information that they had, and medical science had started to hear that retro enter fibroplasia was a condition, but medical science hadn’t really accepted it yet. But my father said, Sue isn’t going to solve anything. And he was absolutely right. And I thought the same thing. And to this day, I think that’s true. I think there are times when there is such a thing as doing litigation for some purpose, but, you know, don’t do it for the wrong reason, and don’t go off and try to mess up somebody else’s life, because I’m sure that those same ophthalmologists and so on in the 70s and 80s would never take the same approach that they did when I was born, or if they had to, because it really meant the life of the child, the parents would get an appropriate warning saying this could happen, which is what does happen. But also, it’s been proven that it doesn’t take a pure oxygen environment, 24 hours a day, every day to keep a child alive, and even just a few minutes a day will prevent the whole issue of becoming blind. So there are a lot of aspects of it.

Rhonda Farrah ** 58:34
There sure are.

Michael Hingson ** 58:36
But you know, we all are. We’re in this same world, and we do need to, you know, to move forward. So what do you think that people can learn from you? We’ve talked for almost an hour. Summarize some of that, if you would.

Rhonda Farrah ** 58:52
I think people can learn from me that, you know, we’re all whole, perfect and complete, even in our imperfections, all of us and I am more like others, and others are more like me than we all realize, because we all have that wholeness, that perfection within each within us, and they can learn to get out of their comfort zone a little before they’re taken out of their comfort zone, to live an empowered life, to live maybe a little bit of the life that they’ve been Thinking about, perhaps dreaming about, they can learn that you know, even with everything that happened to me, I mean, I am so blessed. It could have been a lot worse in every situation that we have just talked about again in the last hour. But there was something within me, and it’s within everyone. We are not alone. Alone, no one is alone. To take the best to count the gifts and the blessings, to use that formula gratitude plus forgiveness, not a popular topic, forgiveness will empower us if we go within and say, Yeah, that’s the that I think that’s the biggest thing, and that they’re to get passionate about something, whether whether it’s garden or whether it’s changing lives, helping people fix their reflection first and live their best life ever. That’s what they can learn from me. Find something to be passionate about,

Michael Hingson ** 1:00:50
yeah, the operative part about that is fix your reflection first, do something that you’re passionate about. I would add to that, that doing something for negative reasons is only going to hurt you. It’s not going to hurt anyone else exactly that’s

Rhonda Farrah ** 1:01:06
taking the poison and expecting the other person to die. Yeah, it’s not happening.

Michael Hingson ** 1:01:12
It doesn’t happen. Well, if you were to Well, go ahead.

Rhonda Farrah ** 1:01:17
No, that’s ask me. I want you to ask me another question. Do

Michael Hingson ** 1:01:23
you have a particular one you want me to ask you? No, oh, just checking. Just checking. If you were to to summarize all of this and leave people with one thought that they should take away and remember what? What do you want them to learn from this. I know we’ve talked about it a lot, and I kind of suspect I know the answer. But if you were to summarize it very briefly, what would you what would you say very

Rhonda Farrah ** 1:01:49
briefly? I would say, once again, you’re not alone if you are struggling with a challenge, with something that not so good stuff in your life, reach out, whether you reach out to me, whether you reach out to someone else, reach out and go within. If you don’t know who to reach out, to go within and listen and listen, and you’ll know who to reach out to. And I have to say that wherever we go, and I alluded to this during the interview, during our conversation, wherever we go, we take ourselves. So those of us who are trying to avoid in life, wherever you go to avoid, whatever it is you’re trying to avoid, you’re the common denominator. You have still taken yourself there

Michael Hingson ** 1:02:41
and avoiding doesn’t help. Facing is a different story than avoiding. Facing

Rhonda Farrah ** 1:02:46
Yes and it’s okay. We all have feelings, feels. You want to feel sad, you want to feel angry, feel whatever the hell you want to feel okay. Because if you keep shoving those feelings down, eventually they will erupt at the most inopportune time. And quite frankly, and quite bluntly, I liken it to a toilet overflowing when you have a house full of guests, not a good thing. And finally, I’m inviting our audience to treat life as if it were ice cream and enjoy it before it melts.

Michael Hingson ** 1:03:28
I believe life is an adventure. We should all partake of it and not hide. We may not and shouldn’t all do it exactly the same way. Everyone is has got their own way of doing it, but enjoy it, as you said, especially before it melts. Well, Rhonda, if people want to reach out to you, and I hope people will. And you know, you may get some, some guys who who email you, but how do people get hold of you?

Rhonda Farrah ** 1:03:58
I would welcome any questions. I love to hear what is on the heart and minds of others, and you can get a hold of me. At, Rhonda. R H, O, N, D, A at, help me, Rhonda now.com, Rhonda. At help me. Rhonda now.com,

Michael Hingson ** 1:04:18
and as I said earlier, we know what musical groups you grew up with.

Rhonda Farrah ** 1:04:24
Yes, we do.

Michael Hingson ** 1:04:27
But Rhonda at help me. Rhonda now.com and I hope people will reach out and seek the wisdom that you are providing and the knowledge that you have to offer, what a wonderful treasure trove of information and knowledge you are and you have, and I hope people will take advantage of that. Thank you. Thank you. Michael, well, I want to thank you for being here, and I want to thank all of you for listening and watching. Us today. We really value it. I would really like to hear from you. I want to hear what your thoughts are about today. Please email me, whoever you are, wherever you are. You can reach me at Michael H, i@accessibe.com that’s m, I C, H, A, E, L, H, I at accessibe, A, C, C, E, S, S, I b, e.com, or go to our podcast page, www dot Michael hingson.com/podcast, and Michael hingson is m, I C, H, A, E, L, H, I N, G, s, o, n.com/podcast, wherever you’re listening, I hope you liked today and that you will rate us and give us a five star review. We value your reviews and your ratings. So very much. Really hope that you will provide us with a five star rating. We love it, but we really, most of all, value your thoughts and anything that you have to say about what you heard today, and I know Rhonda will appreciate that as well. So email Rhonda at helpmeda now.com and communicate with her as well. If you know of any guests Rhonda you as well who might be wonderful people that we ought to have on unstoppable mindset. Would love to hear from you. We’re always looking for guests. I found Rhonda through a person who reached out to me and said, I know this great person who ought to be on the podcast. And he was right. So definitely, if you know of anyone, please let us know, but give us rankings, five star ratings, and communicate with us, because that’s the only way we get a feel of what you like and what you’re interested in and and what you’re thinking. So please tell us. And with that, Rhonda, I want to thank you one more time for being here, and we appreciate all your time, and hopefully we’ll do it again in the near future, and I’m certainly glad to come on the program that you were talking about earlier.

Rhonda Farrah ** 1:06:49
Yes, yes, thank you, Michael, it’s been my pleasure to be here.

Michael Hingson ** 1:06:58
You have been listening to the Unstoppable Mindset podcast. Thanks for dropping by. I hope that you’ll join us again next week, and in future weeks for upcoming episodes. To subscribe to our podcast and to learn about upcoming episodes, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com slash podcast. Michael Hingson is spelled m i c h a e l h i n g s o n. While you’re on the site., please use the form there to recommend people who we ought to interview in upcoming editions of the show. And also, we ask you and urge you to invite your friends to join us in the future. If you know of any one or any organization needing a speaker for an event, please email me at speaker at Michael hingson.com. I appreciate it very much. To learn more about the concept of blinded by fear, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com forward slash blinded by fear and while you’re there, feel free to pick up a copy of my free eBook entitled blinded by fear. The unstoppable mindset podcast is provided by access cast an initiative of accessiBe and is sponsored by accessiBe. Please visit www.accessibe.com . AccessiBe is spelled a c c e s s i b e. There you can learn all about how you can make your website inclusive for all persons with disabilities and how you can help make the internet fully inclusive by 2025. Thanks again for Listening. Please come back and visit us again next week.