Episode 30 – LauraBeth Ryan is Not Called “The Queen of Resilience” for Nothing
Resilience is an understatement. LauraBeth has not only survived several major health crises in her life, but she has conquered them and moved on. This week you have the opportunity to hear from someone who has lived through health and other challenges and now dedicates her life to help empower women, yes and men too, who are overwhelmed by their own seemingly bad circumstances.
If you ever wanted to hear an inspiring and hard-hitting story then you are in for a treat this week. Man or woman you will be inspired and learn a lot from what LauraBeth has to say. Not only will LauraBeth tell her story, but she will give you specific ideas of what you can do to overcome obstacles and become unstoppable in your own right. You will learn ideas you can immediately put to use.
Listen to our episode this week and then please let me know your thoughts through your rating as well as via email at email@example.com.
About the Guest:
LauraBeth Ryan is the owner and founder of Cheerful Hearts. A company created to inspire, educate, and empower women. She is an international empowerment coach, speaker, and author. With over 25 years of experience in personal, professional, and spiritual growth, she helps high-achieving, financially successful women who are overwhelmed and unfulfilled to minimize their stress, simplify their lives, and overcome their toughest challenges with grit and grace. She has overcome a spinal injury that left her bedridden for over 10 years, then rose up above severe Celiac disease, and most recently won a two-year battle with breast cancer. Known as “The Queen of Resilience”, LauraBeth shares her powerful story to help you become unstoppable in every area of your life.
About the Host:
Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog.
Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children’s Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association’s 2012 Hero Dog Awards.
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UM Intro/Outro 00:00
Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I’m Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that’s a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we’re happy to meet you and to have you here with us.
Michael Hingson 01:20
Welcome to another episode of unstoppable mindset. We’re glad you’re here with us. Thanks for dropping by. And we have LauraBeth Ryan with us today. LauraBeth is going to talk about the resilience factor in men becoming unstoppable. Boy, that’s as good as it gets for this particular podcast, Laura Beth, welcome to unstoppable mindset.
LauraBeth Ryan 01:43
Thank you so much for having me, I’m thrilled that I get this opportunity to share some research.
Michael Hingson 01:48
So tell me a little bit about you. You obviously grew up and became an adult, and so on. But I’d love to learn a little bit about your background and so on and how you got where you are.
LauraBeth Ryan 02:00
Well, I’m going to try to condense it because, okay, so I don’t want to. I’m a talker, and I, which is great as a speaker, but I don’t want to share an overload. So
Michael Hingson 02:13
you don’t want to start out with a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
LauraBeth Ryan 02:18
Right. So I’ll just tell you, I started with a childhood that was not ideal. While there was physical, all the physical needs were met, there was a lot of emotional neglect and a lack of love. So I grew up with a lot of insecurities. Very low self esteem. And I’m really not having the tools to how to live my best life. And so I got married at 18. Um, just wanted the perfect picket fence, you know, everything kind of you would see like on the Waltons life, all I wanted was this beautiful family. So I quickly started having children. But before that I had had a car accident that severely injured my spine. So I was very young. Anyway, so the doctor said it would be very difficult. I was determined, and I had four children back to back. Well, by the fourth child, I was living pretty much what people consider, you know, the typical American dream, right? I had an husband who made a good income, I was able to be a very hands on very active stay at home mom, and I really was enjoying my life and was fulfilled that I finally have this family. And at the age of 28 with my fourth pregnancy, in an instant, it was all taken away. I go ahead, do
Michael Hingson 03:54
LauraBeth Ryan 03:55
Yeah, so, um, because previously, I had the car accident, the spinal injuries. And when you’re pregnant, and I was small, you have something called your sacroiliac joints that stretch and you’re really not supposed to lift already. And one of my children at the time when I was like eight, eight months pregnant fell. And as a mother would do instinctly I picked him up and carried him over my very pregnant belly to the hospital. And well to the car and the nostril. And then by that evening, I was in such excruciating pain, um, that it felt like basically had to dislocated hips. And here I was pregnant had three other children, and I was instantly put to bed and they weren’t sure if I would ever recover.
Michael Hingson 04:51
But you did.
LauraBeth Ryan 04:53
Well, not exactly way later I did but after I gave birth it also hurt my sacrum. And so I really never truly recovered, I had to get help in the house, I was somewhat able bodied, but had a lot of limitations. And one day I bent over a few years later to kiss one of my children to buy at school, I could still walk at that point and be functional, and tore the ligaments and the SI joints. And that was it. That literally was the final straw that broke the mother’s back and I became completely bedridden with severe chronic nerve pain. And the only thing that would take it away was being completely been written that with bed rest, and the doctors offered zero hope. They said, I’m sorry, this particular injury is something that we can’t help you with. And, of course, it was devastating.
Michael Hingson 05:52
How did you move forward from all of that?
LauraBeth Ryan 05:55
Well, in the beginning years, of course, I went through major depression. And the biggest factor that I had to do was find my why to keep living, because at times, I really was suicidal, um, all those old feelings of worthlessness came up, one would already feel bad when their whole lives taken away, but I had deep insecurities that were rising up. And so the best thing I did for myself was seek out support. I went to a therapist, I’m a strong person of faith, I have hung on to my faith. And I knew that I had to pull out of the depression and figure out how I was going to make my best life even from a bed. And I did it because I had to literally make the decision to choose joy no matter if I was going to be like this for the rest of my life.
Michael Hingson 06:46
And what did you do?
LauraBeth Ryan 06:48
Well, I, I saw the counseling, um, it really helped. Then I ended up hiring a life coach who helped more than anybody she asked she live with Ms. So that support I would say reaching out support is the biggest factor. And then of course, your mindset, you literally have to work on your mindset. And so I started writing, I started journaling, I ended up pouring out a lot of incredible poetry that I later turned into an inspirational greeting card and gift line. And that’s how my company cheerful hearts began after 10 You know, I was 10 years completely bedridden, raising the children, I had to get really creative, not helping the house, and just woke up every day. And as long as I was still there wasn’t a horrible amount of pain propped up with pillows, and I just decided my time and attention. They were going to get all of that I just couldn’t cook and clean. And I did still deal with depression at times when the pain was bad. And I’m would always just reach out for that lifeline. And of course, my faith.
Michael Hingson 07:57
So did you get over the pain? Are you over the pain not not being able to see you? Are you in bed now?
LauraBeth Ryan 08:06
Okay, so here’s the cool thing. I’m a determined person, it’s pretty hard if doctors are going to tell me I’m never gonna walk again, I’m gonna prove them wrong. So I saw tons of medical people that could possibly help me had a lot of failed surgeries, had a lot of failed treatments. But eventually 10 years later, came across New always always looking for new possibilities and never gave up. And so I stood up after 10 years for the very first time and took my first steps after a medical procedure that was successful. So I even though I still have physical limitations, I do use a power chair. I couldn’t even get functional in the chair. So I was thrilled just to be able to sit up and get around. And now the pain is manageable. I’ve learned how to manage it. I still have to use you know, I can walk some I can completely move in the water for all my exercise. So my quality of life now is amazing.
Michael Hingson 09:12
Or you use a power chair. A lot of that okay. Yes. Now my wife is a paraplegic. She was born with some scar tissue on her spinal cord. I think they think either came from a breech birth or her mom had a kidney disease when she was pregnant with Karen. Karen used a manual chair until 2003. And as her physical medicine doctor at the time said, God didn’t provide a warranty with shoulders and so she she had to stop using a manual chair because it was just too hard on her shoulder. She uses a power. She uses a power chair as well. Well, I used to say and I actually still say that. When we got married, she reads I push works out well, but now she’s got a power chair. So I got to keep my toes out of the way.
LauraBeth Ryan 10:03
It’s true. It’s true people are scared because I love zipping around, it gives me my independence. And I’m really like a perky person. So when I got my power chair, and could sit up in it, it pretty much gave me all that independence to help me become unstoppable as well.
Michael Hingson 10:19
Sure. And in reality, as she’s zips around, or as I walk around the house, you know, if we happen to bump into each other in one way or another, it’s an opportunity for more kisses. So it works out. Well.
LauraBeth Ryan 10:31
That’s, that’s funny. I
Michael Hingson 10:33
like that. And we’ve been married well, 39 years old 27. So you know,
LauraBeth Ryan 10:40
congratulations, that’s inspiring in itself.
Michael Hingson 10:45
Are you still married? Well,
LauraBeth Ryan 10:47
the first marriage ended very abruptly, very, sadly, while I turned to hope and positivity and my faith, and sought therapy and all the things have to find the tools to learn to live a powerful life regardless of limitations. My ex, who is now my axe, he was very bitter and unaccepting of my such circumstance, very resentful. So eventually, that marriage ended. And it was it actually became domestic abuse, and I had to flee for my life. So that’s another whole nother story for another time. But I escaped, and I had nothing but a suitcase to my name. And I wonder how the heck am I going to survive?
Michael Hingson 11:34
And what did you do? Well, you left, obviously,
LauraBeth Ryan 11:38
I left, I had some family, because I had to have full time care, right. So I have some family in another state. That’s where I ended up. That’s where I’m now in Texas for 13 years. And then I looked and researched and, of course, my life and business coach, because I’d already started cheerful hearts, which is my company from the bed. So I had that hope that I was going to make it with my company. And I was going to make it on my own with, you know, with having assistants. So I found did all my research. For a time I had to be on government assistance. It was very humbling. But it was my freedom from the emotional pain that I was in for so long. And it was very, very hard. But I then found a program called DARS, Department of Rehabilitation Services that believed in me when I was doing with cheerful hearts, got some grants, got a program that allowed me to have assistants in my home so that they could do all the all the domestic duties that I cannot do. And got back to work. Once I got through the divorce and all that emotional turmoil. I gave myself a break, put the company on hold, but always had that vision and hope because it was so deep inside of me that I knew I was going to change lives and encourage and make a difference for people. So that hope kept me going. And I’m happy to say that later I remarried the most kindest man in the world. Who is my number one fan, Vice President of everything. Mayas he helps with he loves me unconditionally. And that is amazing.
Michael Hingson 13:23
And you know, that’s as good as it gets. It’s too It’s too bad. You had to go through the the first marriage situation, but you grew from it. And that’s really kind of what in a sense, it’s all about it’s also what you learn and how you assimilate what you learned. So triple hearts. Tell me more about it.
LauraBeth Ryan 13:47
Yes, it’s cheerful heart shuffle hearts. I’m sorry. Yeah. So
Michael Hingson 13:52
um, triple hearts too, but that’s okay. Yeah.
LauraBeth Ryan 13:55
Cheerful hearts. It came actually it originates from the scripture in the Bible, called a cheerful heart is good medicine. Right? Proverbs 1722. And I felt so strongly way back when I was depressed. That name was like, imprinted in my heart. I felt like it came from a higher power. Because I was feeling anything for Jericho and wondered how in the world I was going to cheer other people up, or encourage them or empower them. However, that journey of all my writing and all the poetry and all the path that that took, that’s how triple heart started with a greeting. I eventually turn that into a greeting card and gift line to spread it that way. Well, then my then coach, Trish Rober Shaw was amazing. She was so impressed by what I did from a bat and my spirit. She said, You know, you need to become an empowerment life coach because what you did and what you do, is you help people overcome their obstacles and you on it. So I took training from her then continue education, then I became, you know, we got to share your story. So it evolved from the greeting card and gift line, to becoming to helping high achieving women to slow down and to really realize what matters most in their life, to find more peace and happiness and less stress. And then as a speaker, I share my story to encourage, empower, and educate women as well, that no matter what happens in their life, no matter what they face, they can overcome it. And they too can become unstoppable.
Michael Hingson 15:39
Just out of curiosity, do you do you coach men as well? Or do you focus mainly on women?
LauraBeth Ryan 15:45
Mostly women? I do have some men clients, but my ideal client is our women.
Michael Hingson 15:52
Because that’s where your greater expertise obviously lies.
LauraBeth Ryan 15:57
Michael Hingson 15:57
So have you have you created any courses? Do you just do personal coaching? Tell me a little bit more about what you’re doing. Do you do that all under the cheerful hearts brand or a different brand? Yeah,
LauraBeth Ryan 16:12
yes, cheerful Hearts is really all about inspiring, educating, empowering women in everything we do, and offering encouragement, hope as well. All of that is intertwined with everything from the greeting card line to and to the coaching and the speaking, it’s all about the same thing. Um, so I’m sorry, I lost track. What was that?
Michael Hingson 16:36
Okay. I was just asking if that’s all under the cheerful hearts brand. Do you? Do you travel to speak much? Or do you do it mainly virtually today? Or
LauraBeth Ryan 16:46
virtually? what’s awesome is that I from the beginning, thank God for technology, because it’s been my lifeline. Because before I could even sit up for long periods of time, because it was too painful. I didn’t have the core strength. I actually started 20 years ago, where this was just starting, right? The technology, told people I was I had so many naysayers, business, people who said, you’ll never do it from a bed. Technology is not enough. But it was for me, I did so many interviews, and back then there was no video. So I’m in my bed, and I can talk, I have a voice. So I was able to share my message across the world internationally, and prove all of them wrong. And then eventually, I started, you know, speaking, but I had my limitations. So I would speak about once a month in my wheelchair, in person. And then a lot, you know, then a lot of what I do is blog talk radio, and those types of and podcasts like yourself, and then I do a lot of speaking locally. I live in Austin. So there’s tons of opportunity for people looking for speakers.
Michael Hingson 18:01
Yes. So do you. So do you do any traveling? Well, the pandemic notwithstanding, do you travel much to speak? Or how does that work?
LauraBeth Ryan 18:13
Not a whole lot. It has to be really worth my time. Usually about where I go with it, you know, it has to be because of my health. Because I have a lot of physical conditions. I’ve learned how to say no, where, you know, I because my health and everyone’s health needs to be a priority. So yes, I do travel. But, um, it just depends on the venue.
Michael Hingson 18:42
We’ve also found over the years that airlines are not the most conscientious and helpful people when it comes to transporting complex wheelchairs.
LauraBeth Ryan 18:53
Oh, they tore my care. Yes. And oh my gosh, I have terrible stories. One time before I had my power tear. I was in a wheelchair. But I can’t I didn’t have because of the pain. I could not push myself with my arms. And I literally was left at the bottom of the tarmac. And the all the people are getting off. Someone was supposed to push me up to where the person was going to get me. And all the the what do you call them? The flight attendants were saying no, we can’t push you up like it’s illegal. And I’m like, I’m sitting here. And finally the pilot comes out and goes, Why are you still here? I said nobody would assist me. And he pushed me off. But it was it can be a bad experience. Oh, yes.
Michael Hingson 19:39
Well, my wife went to a conference in the Virginia area in 2013. And, of course was using a power chair. And she had a big challenge. They said we have to open up your wheelchair and investigate what kind of batteries it is. And she said no, they don’t make them anymore. With lead acid batteries, they’re all gel cell. They’re all sealed. Well, we have to see it. Well, you can I’m in the chair, you’re gonna get me out of the chair because she doesn’t walk her stand at all. And she almost missed the flight. She said call the manufacturer then when they finally did that, but then she went did the retreat came back, she went with someone, a young lady who was helping her. So they came back and it was into San Francisco airport, we lived in the area at the time, near San Francisco. They put her in an aisle chair to get her off the aircraft. And aisle chair is what moves you up and down the aisles on an airplane for people who don’t know, see because you can’t do it in your regular chair. Right? She sat on the jet bridge and down comes her wheelchair, taken apart batteries out of it. And they just left it there saying well, okay, here it is. Her her friend, wearing a dress had to get down on the floor and figure out how to put the batteries back in the chair.
LauraBeth Ryan 21:00
That’s really they need to be educated for people with special needs for sure. Yeah, they
Michael Hingson 21:05
don’t really focus a lot on learning what makes sense. And the reality is, it wasn’t against the law for flight attendants to push you or anyone else for that matter. It’s not like
LauraBeth Ryan 21:18
they told me and it really was it made me screaming. It’s a degrading feeling.
Michael Hingson 21:23
Yeah, I’ve never heard that it’s against the law, the Air Carrier Access Act doesn’t, doesn’t say anything about that. And I would challenge whether the airline regulations even say that, but it certainly isn’t something that’s under the law. Now I can understand from an insurance standpoint, they can’t lift you in the chair, perhaps but as far as you being pushed, that’s ridiculous. But that is part of that is part of what we face. And and we, we all live with these kinds of things. I have been on many airline trips, where I am told I have to sit in the bulkhead row, which is the worst seat in the aircraft for a guide dog. Because if they’re turbulence wants to keep the dog from bouncing around, when in reality, the dog can go under the seat in front of me going flight from front to back, so that the dog is completely under the seat except for his head, which sits on my feet, which he loves. Because that way he’s got a pillow. But the dog is protected. But the airline flight attendants are incredibly notorious at making up their own rules as they go along. And, you know, we need to learn to to go with the punches, which gets us to the whole concept of resilience, which you talk about and which you deal with, but it is what we all have to face. Flight Attendants won’t even oftentimes tell me the row numbers of emergency exit rows, I could be sitting right in front of one, and they go, Oh, well, we’ll get you out the front. And we’ll come and get you after we get the passengers off the airplane. And I love that line. Because then I say, well, if I’m not a passenger, would you refund my money, and I’ll just fly it as a non passenger, or we didn’t mean it that way, then tell me where the emergency exit rows are. And what turns out to be the case usually is they don’t know the row numbers. And they don’t want to take the time to go look, we all get treated very funny in a lot of ways and inappropriately, so. So it’s an education.
LauraBeth Ryan 23:29
You just you know what, you can’t take it personal. You just have to advocate for yourself and speak up for what you need.
Michael Hingson 23:37
So tell me about the resilience factor?
LauraBeth Ryan 23:41
Well, the resilience factor is really main key is your mindset. Because you can’t control everything around you. But what you can control is your mind. And you can change that mindset and it work. But when you change your mindset from what is going wrong to more positive mindset and looking for solutions, then you’re going to become resilient, and you’re going to be able to bounce back. Not only did I have that injury, but then later, later in life, as my company was thriving and doing very well. I became very ill again, with celiac disease that was undiagnosed for an entire year. And when you’re hit with that, it’s a disease of the stomach and inflammation in the body. And I had parently had it all my life but never been told, until the symptoms got so severe that I kept persisting at the doctors. And they told me basically you’re going to feel this crappy for the rest of your life. Take all this medication, there’s really nothing you can do. But I knew enough about nutrition that you can do a lot. And when I told him I was going to do they said it was a waste of your money. Don’t do it but I took a master class on healing the gut. And while I still have to manage it, and it’s a lot of work, when I do all the things that I do now, I’m very, very healthy, regardless of the celiac.
Michael Hingson 25:14
So again, you learned what you needed to learn to survive and thrive.
LauraBeth Ryan 25:21
You got it, you just can’t you go part of resiliency is not accepting what people tell you is not possible. That is a big part of the resiliency factor. And then most recently, I got hit again, with breast cancer. I’m literally just coming out of a two year breast cancer battle that was hellish, that even now I have partial limitations in my arms because of it. And I beat it. But let me tell you, I didn’t know how I was going to bounce back from it. But here I am now with
Michael Hingson 25:54
you. There you go. You’re just looking for attention. That’s all there is to Oh, God,
LauraBeth Ryan 25:59
no. One anymore. Something funny, my chair when I when a cancer hit, because I’ve already been speaking and sharing my story on resilience and overcoming for so long. He said, Well, now you have you know, more to your story. I said, I don’t need it anymore. I’ve ever known material for a lifetime, please, I don’t want more adversity. But yet it happened. And still, I learned through it. It was horrible. But I’m even a different person and a stronger person than I was going in.
Michael Hingson 26:33
So the pastor, your pastor was right.
LauraBeth Ryan 26:35
He was right. And I told him when I was diagnosed, I said, I’m going to come back stronger than ever. And he said, I believe that. Well, let me tell you to your listeners, when you’re in an in the pit in the worst pain and the worst, my arms became paralyzed, I needed so much more care, I was depressed in horrific pain, and I’m allergic to pain medicine. The doctors did not understand my limitations, nor listened to me about the spinal injury. So that’s why I ended up with arm and shoulder and discs in my neck going out. So you have to be your own advocate. And you have to trust that even in those darkest times, where you’ll see how you’re gonna get out. Think about those times part of the resiliency is remembering the other times that were your worst is dark times. And you made it through those, and that will encourage yourself to hang on. And of course, again, I went back to my life coach, and had her support the whole time. And it was invaluable.
Michael Hingson 27:42
Oh, do you help others? Or how do you Teddy? Well, two things, how do you teach someone to be resilient? And how do you really learn resiliency? I mean, we, we live in a world today, where we hear what the doctors say, and we believe it because we’re taught to trust the doctors because they know when, as you just point out, and and there’s so many other examples of it. They don’t know, I can tell you so many times that I’ve heard from people who were losing their eyesight, and the doctors come in, and they say that you’re losing your eyesight because of glaucoma, or macular degeneration or whatever, there’s nothing we can do. And literally they walk out. And that depresses people, rather than the doctor saying, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of life for you, but they don’t know it themselves. How do you? How do you help people with that? And how do you learn? Or how would you tell anyone else to learn to overcome that kind of attitude?
LauraBeth Ryan 28:49
Well, first, you know, I will tell the women and then the most most of the women that I Well, my, the women that I coach are high achieving women already there, they’re already kind of go getters. So they’re looking for solutions, but they need a sounding board. And they need somebody to be compassion, compassionate, and that they feel safe with because the first step is to allow yourself to grieve. And a lot of people I think it’s you know, what they call toxic positivity is they’ll Oh, just don’t worry about you’re going to be this and they don’t let you go and express your true emotions. So I think that’s one of the kids is letting those feelings come up. Don’t deny it. Reach out to a coach, reach out to a therapist, whomever you need. When whenever you have any obstacle, whether it’s whatever it is in life, if you’re just completely stressed out overwhelmed, how I help them to become resilient bounce back is I say, Listen, what’s going on, and they open up. And these are some of the most incredible, amazing women that I work with you One of my favorite clients is a is a ophthalmologists. She has her own company. She had small children. A great husband who supported her, had a thriving practice of about four other people in her and she felt like why is this so far it’s, you know, still feeling not good enough. And in the world if she’s telling successful, so what I do with them is break it down, help them simplify their lives, help her like I helped her realize how awesome she was. Because no one is telling women, they’re spread so thin, and they’re doing so much that they don’t feel good about themselves. And so part of the resiliency is working on your inner self, your mindset, and then moving forward and taking action steps and strategizing to figure out how to lessen your stress, how to get through the overwhelm, and all the feelings that come with that.
Michael Hingson 31:04
On another episode, we had a wonderful conversation with Dr. Gabe Roberts from Kansas City and he talks he’s uh, he deals a lot with psychosomatic illness and dealing with psychosomatic curing. He talks a lot about the holographic memory, the hologram memory, where there are things that typically happened to you early in your life that are there. But they’re in your unconscious mind. And what you don’t typically do is bring them up and deal with them and learn how to reframe what you interpret as being a problem into something that can be a more positive experience. Like he talked about one patient who had some serious illness. And he when he regressed this person, it went back to a time when she was six year old years old, and was spanked, and that memory was negative. And he went and worked with her to get her to rephrase that into a loving experience where her father really did care about her. And that it was was truly done for good reasons. And that was the right thing. And the illness went away. Wow, it’s a really fascinating thing. You ought to look him up on Facebook, Dr. Get Dr. Gabe Roberts.
LauraBeth Ryan 32:38
I will that is so fascinating. I actually I had so much time on my hands with being so still again with the arms and recovering from the breast cancer that I started studying psychology more taking more psychology classes learning about the subconscious, and it’s amazing 70 Over 70% of our actions are from our subconscious that we have no idea, like you said, from programming for like the ages seven and earlier. It’s just amazing.
Michael Hingson 33:10
And he would say it’s even more than 70%. But But either way, the point is that our subconscious is there. And those memories are stored, but we can reframe them, which is of course what what he is all about which is important. Well, how so? When you when you deal with people today and you talk with women about becoming more resilient. Again, they’re very high achieving women. But what I’m hearing you say is that doesn’t necessarily make them resilient. They’re they’re high achieving, and they’re they’re either hiding from something or something isn’t right in their lives, so they don’t feel resilient or maybe aren’t resilient. Right?
LauraBeth Ryan 33:56
Yeah, well, they’re one of the biggest things they say is like, why is it so hard? I have achieved this success, right financial success, but they’re unfulfilled. So we go through and we examine a lot. The reason is because they are subconsciously, coming from a place of pushing, pushing pushing. overachievers often don’t feel good enough, no matter how much they do. And because they’re stretched so thin. It makes that feeling even magnified. So she didn’t like melawan clinic is expressed about she didn’t feel like she was a good enough mother, even though she was a great mother and then in the workplace. Why isn’t this happening? Why did my team not on board why can I get this thing done that I’ve been wanting? Why is it so hard? So we start breaking down? Exactly. Let’s take a look. Let’s take a listen. And because I’ve been through so much And also I have I coach from a place of compassion. A lot of coaches are sort of really hard, like, get it done. And I’m very different. I encourage one of the biggest things that helped to my clients, is me to show them and what I needed to learn was how to slow down. This world is going so fast and slowing down. Most people don’t know how to do it, or to maximize their time. And both of those I’ve been forced to learn how to do, I am able to very quickly get my clients results in that area to where they’re living their life with more ease more fulfilled, and truly feeling like a successful women they are.
Michael Hingson 35:44
Do you ever explore the idea of doing more self analysis like self self analysis, like, during the day you do what you do, but at night? Take the time to go back and look at what did I accomplish today? Or what happened today? Did I make the right choice here? What can I learn from what happened? Do you encourage people to really go do that kind of introspective self analysis?
LauraBeth Ryan 36:09
On our calls? The first thing I do is say, we don’t talk about what obstacles they have or what didn’t go? Well, the first thing I say is, tell me, I’ll just say Shannon, for example. What went well, this week, tell me what your winds were. People are not used to doing that to stop in and reflecting. And that really builds their confidence.
Michael Hingson 36:37
The other thing that comes to mind, though, is not only what were your wins, but what were your losses, but not so much because it’s an obstacle, but what were your losses? And why are they a loss? Or why do you think they’re a loss?
LauraBeth Ryan 36:51
Oh, absolutely. We go there next and like, for instance, you know, coaching is based on commitment and accountability, right? So, so say they have a challenge. And we they, you know, I always work with them, I feel like I’m a guide, I don’t tell them what to do, or give advice, but I more in pulling out from them what I’m hearing and reflecting back. And so I’ll say, you know, they’re so used to being hard on themselves, instead of instead of embracing or understanding. So we will break down well, what is it about that? Why is it that you quit reach that that thing that you wanted to reach? So we break it down into smaller pieces, and I don’t I’m they’re so used to being beat up about not being perfect. And I say, Look, this is why let’s and they help we help discover why. And then let’s think of a new strategy that makes it simpler for you to accomplish it.
Michael Hingson 37:54
You know, I’ve been in sales most of my life and you are talking about exactly what really makes a good salesperson because a salesperson shouldn’t be talking you into buying something. A salesperson should be an individual that counsels you and guide you and gives you the information so that you can make an intelligent choice. It’s it’s hard to get salespeople to recognize that you don’t need a hidden agenda. And yeah, if somebody is talking with you, they know you’re selling a product, they know that you have a product to offer them. But what should your job really be just to force that down their throat, or to guide them and see if in fact, it’s the right thing for them because it may or may not be truly the best product. And that’s especially true for real high ticket items in a corporate world, and so on. Because people don’t necessarily have the right product. I’ve experienced that on a number of occasions where the products that I had, were not the best fit for or a good fit at all for what a person’s needed, needs were and so my job was to, as I felt, guide them, tell them why my product might not be the best fit, and also talk with them about what other options were available. Here’s the result of that. And there’s a particular instance I’m thinking of where it happened, where I went to a meeting and said, after listening to them, I recognized our product isn’t going to work. I still went ahead and did the discussion of the product because I wanted to teach them about our product. That’s the part that I got to but at the end I said and as you know, our products not going to do what you need. So here’s one that will two weeks later, we got a request from them to give them a price because they found another application where our product was a perfect fit. And it was even larger than the one that we went to so we we gained from that it’s And it’s about doing it for the right reason. And we can be motivated by money, or we can be motivated by helping people accomplish what they need to accomplish. And we need to learn what that is. Oh, yeah,
LauraBeth Ryan 40:11
my sir. I’m all about service and getting my clients results. I am so happy when my clients are fulfilled, it brings me true joy.
Michael Hingson 40:22
Yeah, and that’s exactly what it should be, is that no matter what we do, I really believe that we’re our brothers and our sisters keepers. And I mean that in a, in a spiritual and mental way, in an in a physical way. We need to work more to help each other. And we need to work to break down some of the barriers that we face. We’re in a world where people won’t converse with each other, there is so much of a fracture, because of politics and other things. How do we overcome that some of that?
LauraBeth Ryan 40:55
Well, that’s a pretty loaded question. There
Michael Hingson 41:00
may be politics aside, it’s not a political, that’s not a political question.
LauraBeth Ryan 41:04
So I, you know, my world has expanded, because I have so many different people have different beliefs, whether it’s politically, whether it’s spiritually, whether it’s financial ideas, whatever it might be, right. And so what I think the most important key is, is that we need to be better listeners, we so many people are what I call white fighters, they just want to get their point across, they want to be right. But if we’re really going to hear each other, you know, the let’s just say the political the left and the right, they’re just fighting, fighting, fighting, who can be louder, who can who can put the other down, which is so unproductive. And so I think if we just said, I’m listening, I want to hear I want to understand your point of view, I may not agree with it. And but you can politely agree to disagree.
Michael Hingson 42:04
The other aspect of that, though, is I may not agree with it. But I’m open to listening, because I want to learn and you never know what you’ll learn.
LauraBeth Ryan 42:14
It’s true, my mind has been open to things that I used to not believe it, you know, over the years, things that I had a different mindset about, um, and, you know, as we learn from other people with other things that they have to share, if we do have an open mind, it does empower us and educate us to, as you said, learn something new.
Michael Hingson 42:41
I think life is all about learning. And I’m always excited when I get to learn new things and to hear other points of view, and then you’re right, I may not agree with them. But if I close my mind, and don’t analyze what the other person said, then I’m doing a disservice to me, much less anything else. Great point. So it’s really important to be more of a not only a listener, but a learner no matter what the situation, no matter what the viewpoint. Because if we don’t analyze, and we don’t truly step back and dissect and ponder what we hear and learn, then we don’t progress and move forward. Absolutely. Well, I’d like to kind of get your final thoughts on what what you want people to take away from from this? How can they start to do more with what they do? And obviously you have a program and if you want to talk about how they can reach you. But what what should people take away from today?
LauraBeth Ryan 43:47
Well, I want them to one take away that nothing is impossible. Okay? No matter what you face in life, you do not give up. You may have dark times, you may you’re going to have times where it seems impossible. But if it’s in your heart, and you know it, believe it, get other people around you to support you, and you will become unstoppable. And number two is gratitude. We didn’t talk about that today. But when you’re in the midst and as an entrepreneur or as high achieving women or whomever you are facing adversity, gratitude is one of the keys that is going to bring you to success, because we can almost always look towards something in our lives no matter how bad it is. And when you start focusing on that, it’s going to change the whole inner feelings of your body in your situation. It’s going to help your mindset to shift into a more positive light. And then thirdly, I’d say reach out for support. So many women especially in Corporate are that are financially successful, high achieving women. I’m gonna give you an example. Um, I think it was her name was Kate Spade, the the person who, who was the most cheerful made all these great, she was so successful with her purses and her uniqueness. And she committed suicide, because she was having problems in her business. And instead of reaching out for support and meeting, admitting she needed help, she felt helpless. And there’s no point in that. I don’t care where you are. If you’re struggling, it is so vital to reach out to someone that’s going to give you the strategy give you the safe space to be a sounding board. There is no weakness in saying that you need help, we need to completely flip that, and know that it’s a place of courage and strength, that you don’t want to stay there anymore. And then your life is going to be so much more fulfilling.
Michael Hingson 46:03
Well, thinking about successful people, just immediately into my mind came Robin Williams, I mean, look at how successful he was. Look at all that he did, and yet he committed suicide.
LauraBeth Ryan 46:16
I mean, it’s, it’s so sad. Yes, yeah, so many, many people like that Thomas Kincade, he was the most well known artists living in his lifetime. And he too, couldn’t admit he ended up having alcohol problems and couldn’t admit and reach out for that help. And it’s just because he had this idea like life and what he paints his idea like, what the truth is, life is not ideal. We all face adversity, every single one of us. And so I would encourage people, anybody listening to this spoke to, to reach out to me at www cheerful hearts.com. and schedule a free consultation with me a free 20 minute consultation, if not, now, when it could change the entire trajectory of your life. There’s also a free downloadable my five top tips to unspeakable joy that has a power packed, short little e report that’s going to help you go forward and feel more happy fulfilled in your life.
Michael Hingson 47:31
You mentioned gratitude. And that is so important. I’ve written a small ebook called blinded by fear. And one of the things and we talk in the in the book about the reality being that you can learn to control or deal with your fear and make it a powerful tool for your success. Rather than being paralyzed when something unexpected happens in your life. And you certainly have done that you’ve clearly had a number of challenges. And I am sure that there was a lot of fear. And you you related to that. But at the same time, you found ways to get past that and to use that fear to help you focus
LauraBeth Ryan 48:21
on fuel, right? Like, I don’t want to be on government assistance. I need to be financially secure. I don’t want to be, you know, put in a nursing home at the age of 40. Something. I’m way too young that fear was a good motivator, right to do what you do.
Michael Hingson 48:38
But you made it a motivator. You you turned it around. Yeah. And you became unstoppable, truly unstoppable because of that. Yes. And that is, of course, what what this is really all about that your mindset shifted. And something taught you along the line to be able to do that. You know, and I don’t know what you haven’t really, maybe don’t know. But what what made you be the kind of person that could turn that around and make it an unstoppable environment?
LauraBeth Ryan 49:15
Well, one is my faith. As I said, one of my favorite inspirational women is Joyce Meyer. And I watch her every day. So I filled my mind with positivity. I didn’t watch anything negative. I didn’t watch the news, nothing that would bring me down because they already struggled with depression. So that’s one key. And then I also became an avid reader. I never stopped before the injury. I was too busy running around all the time. And so all the books I read think bit by Kent Ben Carlson. Know your worth like by Joyce Meyer. I read a book by Johnny Erickson Tata who was an inspiration who is a paraplegic, so I dove in to any positivity, any information that was going to help shift that mindset.
Michael Hingson 50:09
Well, I’m prejudice and I hope that you have you will read if you haven’t read thunder dog.
LauraBeth Ryan 50:15
I would love to.
Michael Hingson 50:18
Anywhere books are available. underdogs called Thunder dog do G the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust at ground zero. And as I said, I’m prejudiced. But you know, I know the guy who wrote it this guy, Mike kingsun. He’s pretty good. And I’d love your thoughts on it after you read it, but it is it is still in print. Okay, you’re off Amazon? Oh, you absolutely can get it off of Amazon. And I’m gonna read it, you better believe it. You can get it from Audible. If you’d like audiobooks, it’s available there as well.
LauraBeth Ryan 50:55
Yes. Now I have limitations from that arms. I can’t hold a book. So Audible has become a best friend.
Michael Hingson 51:04
It’s it’s there too. But, you know, I hope it inspires you. And we wrote it for for the purpose of inspiration, and education.
LauraBeth Ryan 51:13
Absolutely. Thank you for sharing that. I will read it. And I will let you know.
Michael Hingson 51:18
Laura Beth Ryan, we really appreciate you coming on. You’ve been wonderful, and I really am so happy that you are unstoppable and that I hope that people really understand and see how unstoppable you are and how you’ve been. You’ve adopted this unstoppable mindset. And would you repeat again, how people can find you?
LauraBeth Ryan 51:39
Absolutely. And more than I want them to know that I’m unstoppable. I want them to know they can absolutely be unstoppable in anything they face, or wanting to accomplish as well. And if they want more help with that, then they can reach me at www. Cheerfulhearts.com
Michael Hingson 51:59
Is that heart T or TS
LauraBeth Ryan 52:01
Michael Hingson 52:04
cheerfulhearts plural .com. Well, thank you for coming on and helping us better understand the unstoppable mindset. And for those of you listening, I hope that you enjoyed today, please give us a five star review rating. Wherever you listen to podcasts, you can visit www.Michaelhingson.com/podcast. That’s M I C H A E L H I N G S O N .com/podcast. And sign up and subscribe there as well. I have to ask one last thing. Are you going to do a podcast?
LauraBeth Ryan 52:39
Am I Well, right now I’m just podcast speaker but after listening to Michelle and Kim, I’m I very well may go into that as well.
Michael Hingson 52:51
And for those who don’t understand the reference, I met Laura Beth because we’re doing something called PodaPalooza, which is an opportunity to interview wonderful guests. So and then it’s also a program where people are learning how they can become podcasters and the value of it. Well, I hope you do it. And if you do, let me know. We’d love to come on and talk with you on your podcast as well.
LauraBeth Ryan 53:17
Well, thank you so much. It was a pleasure learning from you and sharing with your audience.
Michael Hingson 53:23
Well, it was an honor to have you here. You’ve been wonderful. And again, everyone. Thank you very much for listening. Join us again in the future for another edition of unstoppable pod unstoppable mindset, the podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. And Laura Beth. Thanks again.
LauraBeth Ryan 53:41
Absolutely, thank you.
UM Intro/Outro 53:48
You have been listening to the Unstoppable Mindset podcast. Thanks for dropping by. I hope that you’ll join us again next week, and in future weeks for upcoming episodes. To subscribe to our podcast and to learn about upcoming episodes, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com slash podcast. Michael Hingson is spelled m i c h a e l h i n g s o n. While you’re on the site., please use the form there to recommend people who we ought to interview in upcoming editions of the show. And also, we ask you and urge you to invite your friends to join us in the future. If you know of any one or any organization needing a speaker for an event, please email me at speaker at Michael hingson.com. I appreciate it very much. To learn more about the concept of blinded by fear, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com forward slash blinded by fear and while you’re there, feel free to pick up a copy of my free eBook entitled blinded by fear. The unstoppable mindset podcast is provided by access cast an initiative of accessiBe and is sponsored by accessiBe. Please visit www.accessibe.com. accessiBe is spelled a c c e s s i b e. There you can learn all about how you can make your website inclusive for all persons with disabilities and how you can help make the internet fully inclusive by 2025. Thanks again for listening. Please come back and visit us again next week.